Thinking slim and behaving slim (but not being it)

Yesterday my sisters and I were gathered and we talked about weight….. and I realised that I am one of the very few women who actually see myself in the mirror and see a smaller person than I really am. This is a good thing because I behave like a thin person, move like a thin person, dress like a thin person (I just ignore the number on the label) and therefore get treated like a thin person. But I am a size 44-46 (UK size 14-16) girl at the moment and throughout my life my weight has fluctuated a lot – I have been as large as a 50 (UK 20) and as small as a 40 (UK 10). The only times I have been thin, have been a result of serious dieting and as soon as I had reached my target weight, I put it all back on again.

My husband and me when I was a size 50 (UK 20)

A couple of years before we moved to Denmark, I managed to shed 16 kg (2 stone and 2 lb)!!!! And they stayed off – I was happy – very happy. A little bit came on, but then I just lost it again – no big deal….. but then the impact of the move came and my husband had a breakdown………. this, unfortunately, meant that I couldn’t control my eating. I have always liked eating, and as a result have never been naturally slim, but this was the first time I ate to fill a hole – and that hole never felt full. I gained 14 (2 stone) of the 16 kg again in less than 1/2 year. it is only now, within the last 1/2 year, I have been able to concentrate on losing weight again.

I have lost almost 7 kg (1 stone) and I am proud to say that this is the first time I have done it without the aid of drugs. First, in the 90s, there was an amphetamine product called Letigen, which made you very energetic and took away your appetite. Then there was Reductil, an appetite suppressant, which made me eat because I HAD to, not because I WANTED to………. I have to say, that I liked those pills as they helped me control my addiction to food. However, we all know they are very unhealthy (and both off the market for health reasons now), but the worst thing is that you don’t actually beat your addiction, you just keep it at bay with drugs, but when you finish the drugs, your mind is the same and the problems the same, so this time I am doing it the natural way – eating healthy, wholegrain and exercising loads.

I try to only eat rye bread – it keeps me full for a long time and keeps my energy levels up. I have it with a low fat topping such as cottage cheese with tomato, ham and mustard or low fat pate with cucumber or pickle. In between, I snack on fruit and vegetables. I have also opted out on the Bread-and-Cake-Club at work as I realised that I was snacking away on Danish pastry all Friday, every Friday, just because it was there. But I AM a food lover, so my way of keeping myself motivated is to keep my calorie intake down during the day and then have a normal meal with my family in the evening, this means that it’s not too hard and also I get to cook the way I like….and then I go to the gym 4-5 times a week and attend Zumba classes and dance classes of that kind. It is the first time EVER, I have enjoyed exercise and I hardly ever find excuses not to go (something which used to be a problem). Today my sister and I are trying a Thai Bo class for the first time, to see if we can cope with it, as we have signed up for a two hour Thai Bo event on Saturday…… I have a feeling I will not be able to lift my arms to cook the dinner on New Year’s Eve after that!

My target is to get to this again and I am 8 kg off (1 stone and 2 lb)

So, as New Year approaches and the eating orgies over Christmas have subsided, my thoughts are on getting back to my healthy routine, and hopefully this summer, feel a little bit better about wearing a bikini than I did last year!

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4 thoughts on “Thinking slim and behaving slim (but not being it)

  1. Interesting blog Johanne, I recognise a lot of myself in what you write. I also have a food addiction and have always struggled with my weight. For me, exercise is the key because it really helps my state of mind, gives me energy and helps motivate me to look after my body, especially when I can see the changes in my body shape. I am struggling with finding time to exercise with training to be a nurse full time (big assignments, full time work as well as being a mum to a 5 year old). I LOVE going to the gym, but cannot fit it in my current schedule. And its hitting me hard. I have less energy, I can feel I have gained at least a stone since starting Uni in September. I don’t have scales in my house any more, after periods of bulimia in my teens, 20s and early 30’s, and I still don’t trust myself to have them indoors, as I have yet to actually tackle my food addiction. Good luck with your journey, I hope you reach your target weight, but more importantly, I hope you are able to break the cycle and stay at your target weight x

    • It’s the only way I can understand people who smoke is to think about how little will power I have when it comes to food. Went to the cinema today and the film ended at 1 pm which meant that my healthy breakfast had been digested and my blood sugar was VERY low (actually found it dangerous driving, I felt almost drunk) and ended up eaten a massive McDonald’s meal………… feel quite disappointed with myself, but hey, as long as it doesn’t happen all the time.

      • Note to self, try to keep a banana or some dried fruit or something in your bag! See McDonalds I can avoid, even if it was the only food on offer and I was starving I couldn’t eat it, but I’m sat in a house full of Xmas chocolate trying to study, and picking at unnecessary crap yet haven’t actually eaten a meal today. V bad! Don’t beat yourself up, I bet you don’t do it again x

  2. Pingback: Low Carb adventure: the beginning and Mexican Scrambled Eggs Breakfast | Johanne's World of Food

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